I have a problem with illegitimacy. More to the point, I have a problem when the tag or label of illegitimate is applied to children born out of wedlock. I ask, "What is illegitimate about these babies, children, teens, and young adults?" The marital circumstance of their parents perhaps was not ideal, and may have been nightmarish for the Mother, but please let us not impose a label on the child!
As so often I do, I ask you to join me in the Bible for a closer look at how illegitimate the word illegitimate is when describing children conceived and/or born to a couple not married at the time, or ever for that matter.
Let's begin with Psalm 127 . . .
"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward." (v.3)
Psalm 139 . . .
"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. (vv.13-14)
Jeremiah 1 . . .
Now the word of the Lord came to me, saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” (vv.4-5)
Matthew 19 . . .
Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” (vv.13-14)
__________
Well, this is fairly easy to follow isn't it? Children are a gift from God. The Psalmist says a heritage, and the fruit of the womb (babies) is a reward. We learn that God knew us before we were born from just a plain reading in Psalm 139 and Jeremiah 1. And the value of children in the ministry of Jesus is evident in the verses from Matthew 19.
How can a child be considered illegitimate if God knows they're going to be born? Maybe the circumstances of their conception fall under the heading of sin (sex outside of marriage / fornication). Okay that's scriptural, but it is not an indictment of the baby! Perhaps the parents are not married when the child comes into this world; it happens.
The Bible tells us that, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue...." Unfortunately it is used to bludgeon the spirits of little children by labeling them bastards and worse. They are caused sometimes irreparable harm by the thoughtless comments, accusations, and harsh words directed at them, and in their presence, by adults.
Additionally they suffer verbal blows from other children who parrot their parents' own ignorant rants. The worst of it may occur from the non-verbal daggers thrown their way as they are shunned, ignored, or minimized for no other reason than the facts surrounding their birth. This is sinful behavior directed at the defenseless, and the practitioners of it should be ashamed.
Please be careful, ladies and gentlemen. Be careful of the little children, the tweens, the teens, and young adults whose parents were not married when they were born, and/or who were born into a single parent house. Be careful in how you speak of them and to them, and to whom you speak regarding them. These little ones are gifts from God, deemed worthy of this life by God's matchless love, grace, and eternal plan.
Scripture tells us they are fearfully and wonderfully made. It tells us they are God's workmanship and are wonderful, and according to Jesus, the kingdom of Heaven belongs to them.
Fearlessly,
JD
Showing posts with label lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lessons. Show all posts
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Shared Experience
Recently, I received a landmark in my career as an author when the local chapter of a national book club named my latest book (Be Known for Your D.E.E.D.S.) as their selection of the month! A HUGE honor! To make the honor even more impactful I was invited to speak at their next meeting. The great feeling just kept getting better!
Upon arriving at the venue (a restaurant) it rapidly became apparent the ambient noise level was going to be very high outside the reserved private room, and presenting a 30-minute program would be quite a challenge. At this point in the story it would be easy to go on about the noise and the resulting difficulties, but let's change lanes and look at this from the perspective of the audience.
Too often, we, as speakers, tell of the drama we encounter when a venue, the material, or the audience are not set up perfectly for our style or message. And those tales can be instructive, but rarely do we read (or hear) about the equally difficult challenge faced by the audience. In this case, they were welcoming a speaker into a noisy space which necessitated they adjust their own ease and comfort to get the most out of the program.
My wife, Denise, had traveled with me and she commiserated with the club's members. In so doing, she became a bridge to their view, and helped me to have a more balanced takeaway of what had just transpired. Having this knowledge has me re-thinking experiential encounters. Too often we only consider one perspective...our own. Far fewer times do we even acknowledge that a speaking engagement, a graduation ceremony, a school play, a book signing, or other analogous gatherings have two sets of participants; those on stage and those in the audience.
In a very real sense both are dealing with the same experience. For my moment in the sun as an author relishing the moment of recognition it was a noisy venue with wait-staff interruptions. For the local members of the book club, guess what? It was a noisy venue with wait-staff interruptions! We both were immersed in an environment not in the least conducive to the planned program.
How often is it the case with so much else in life? The atmosphere of the restaurant is all wrong, there's no shade at the tennis match, the flight was delayed for mechanical reasons, etc. We must try to get outside our own selves and attempt the viewpoint of others. When we do we will draw closer to that place of understanding; that place of walking in the shoes of our brother or sister. What could have been a disaster became a common bonding experience because each party realized we were united in the experience. As a result, it was an unqualified success and both parties gained a fresh perspective about each other, and on the shared experience.
Fearlessly,
JD
Upon arriving at the venue (a restaurant) it rapidly became apparent the ambient noise level was going to be very high outside the reserved private room, and presenting a 30-minute program would be quite a challenge. At this point in the story it would be easy to go on about the noise and the resulting difficulties, but let's change lanes and look at this from the perspective of the audience.
Too often, we, as speakers, tell of the drama we encounter when a venue, the material, or the audience are not set up perfectly for our style or message. And those tales can be instructive, but rarely do we read (or hear) about the equally difficult challenge faced by the audience. In this case, they were welcoming a speaker into a noisy space which necessitated they adjust their own ease and comfort to get the most out of the program.
My wife, Denise, had traveled with me and she commiserated with the club's members. In so doing, she became a bridge to their view, and helped me to have a more balanced takeaway of what had just transpired. Having this knowledge has me re-thinking experiential encounters. Too often we only consider one perspective...our own. Far fewer times do we even acknowledge that a speaking engagement, a graduation ceremony, a school play, a book signing, or other analogous gatherings have two sets of participants; those on stage and those in the audience.
In a very real sense both are dealing with the same experience. For my moment in the sun as an author relishing the moment of recognition it was a noisy venue with wait-staff interruptions. For the local members of the book club, guess what? It was a noisy venue with wait-staff interruptions! We both were immersed in an environment not in the least conducive to the planned program.
How often is it the case with so much else in life? The atmosphere of the restaurant is all wrong, there's no shade at the tennis match, the flight was delayed for mechanical reasons, etc. We must try to get outside our own selves and attempt the viewpoint of others. When we do we will draw closer to that place of understanding; that place of walking in the shoes of our brother or sister. What could have been a disaster became a common bonding experience because each party realized we were united in the experience. As a result, it was an unqualified success and both parties gained a fresh perspective about each other, and on the shared experience.
Fearlessly,
JD
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Paprika and Parsley
I learned a valuable lesson a couple of years ago when I was launching my speaking business, and soaking up all that Toastmasters has to offer (which is considerable, btw!). For an Evaluation Workshop I was charged with delivering the well-organized speech of a speaking veteran. I conceived a masterpiece, if I do say so myself.
A week prior to delivering this three-minute wonder of words, I realized I was rehearsing so much that I had memorized the speech. Memorization can be a trap for even the most seasoned of speakers, professional or not. When we memorize a speech we open ourselves to forgetting a line, a word, a transition. In so doing we may draw a blank on the next line, word, or section of the speech. On the night of, I did the unthinkable, and forgot an entire minute of the three minutes speech!
However, at the conclusion of my remarks I was warmly congratulated on a well-delivered, and wonderfully organized speech. Truly it was the work of a seasoned, speaking veteran! I smiled, received the well wishes, and turned to the voice in my head where I heard, “But it was only two-thirds of the speech!!”
Have you ever prepared a dish for a family reunion or the random potluck dinner? Things happen as we know and you may not have the paprika for the deviled eggs, or the parsley to garnish your signature dish. You have to serve what you brought, and cannot go by the store. Guess what? NO ONE NOTICES!
Therein is the lesson…. Your audience, like the folks at the family reunion or potluck dinner, are not aware of all you have put into the recipe for your speech or presentation. If you deliver on the expectation of your audience, which for this speech was organization, you have done your job. Make note of your omission, goal yourself to learn from your experience, and next time check the pantry of your mind for paprika and parsley before taking the stage!
Fearlessly,
JD
A week prior to delivering this three-minute wonder of words, I realized I was rehearsing so much that I had memorized the speech. Memorization can be a trap for even the most seasoned of speakers, professional or not. When we memorize a speech we open ourselves to forgetting a line, a word, a transition. In so doing we may draw a blank on the next line, word, or section of the speech. On the night of, I did the unthinkable, and forgot an entire minute of the three minutes speech!
However, at the conclusion of my remarks I was warmly congratulated on a well-delivered, and wonderfully organized speech. Truly it was the work of a seasoned, speaking veteran! I smiled, received the well wishes, and turned to the voice in my head where I heard, “But it was only two-thirds of the speech!!”
Have you ever prepared a dish for a family reunion or the random potluck dinner? Things happen as we know and you may not have the paprika for the deviled eggs, or the parsley to garnish your signature dish. You have to serve what you brought, and cannot go by the store. Guess what? NO ONE NOTICES!
Therein is the lesson…. Your audience, like the folks at the family reunion or potluck dinner, are not aware of all you have put into the recipe for your speech or presentation. If you deliver on the expectation of your audience, which for this speech was organization, you have done your job. Make note of your omission, goal yourself to learn from your experience, and next time check the pantry of your mind for paprika and parsley before taking the stage!
Fearlessly,
JD
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