Shared Experience

Recently, I received a landmark in my career as an author when the local chapter of a national book club named my latest book (Be Known for Your D.E.E.D.S.) as their selection of the month!  A HUGE honor!  To make the honor even more impactful I was invited to speak at their next meeting.  The great feeling just kept getting better!

Upon arriving at the venue (a restaurant) it rapidly became apparent the ambient noise level was going to be very high outside the reserved private room, and presenting a 30-minute program would be quite a challenge.  At this point in the story it would be easy to go on about the noise and the resulting difficulties, but let's change lanes and look at this from the perspective of the audience.

Too often, we, as speakers, tell of the drama we encounter when a venue, the material, or the audience are not set up perfectly for our style or message.  And those tales can be instructive, but rarely do we read (or hear) about the equally difficult challenge faced by the audience.  In this case, they were welcoming a speaker into a noisy space which necessitated they adjust their own ease and comfort to get the most out of the program.

My wife, Denise, had traveled with me and she commiserated with the club's members.  In so doing, she became a bridge to their view, and helped me to have a more balanced takeaway of what had just transpired.  Having this knowledge has me re-thinking experiential encounters.  Too often we only consider one perspective...our own.  Far fewer times do we even acknowledge that a speaking engagement, a graduation ceremony, a school play, a book signing, or other analogous gatherings have two sets of participants; those on stage and those in the audience.

In a very real sense both are dealing with the same experience.  For my moment in the sun as an author relishing the moment of recognition it was a noisy venue with wait-staff interruptions.  For the local members of the book club, guess what?  It was a noisy venue with wait-staff interruptions!  We both were immersed in an environment not in the least conducive to the planned program.

How often is it the case with so much else in life? The atmosphere of the restaurant is all wrong, there's no shade at the tennis match, the flight was delayed for mechanical reasons, etc.  We must try to get outside our own selves and attempt the viewpoint of others.  When we do we will draw closer to that place of understanding; that place of walking in the shoes of our brother or sister.  What could have been a disaster became a common bonding experience because each party realized we were united in the experience.  As a result, it was an unqualified success and both parties gained a fresh perspective about each other, and on the shared experience.

Fearlessly,
JD

Wisdom Earned

Wisdom cannot be found lying about like so many pennies and dimes.  It will not attach itself to you, and comes not by accident.  It is not easily gained, but is worth the time and expense to acquire it.  Wisdom's payoff is most obvious when mistakes are not repeated, goals are set and met, and our tongue speaks blessings. Wisdom is not intelligence, but points to it.  Intelligence is not wisdom, but is pointless without it.

I don't believe that I am so different from folks in my age demographic.  I can look back upon my life and trace the roots and growth of my own wisdom.  It's often a humorous exercise as I marvel at the ignorance of my youth, and am yet standing today!  Surely this is the definitive in the proof of God's existence.  Without Him I am quite sure things would have turned out differently for me.

Wisdom put to use recently, I was engaged in a conversation with one of my coaching clients when the thought crossed my mind to expound more on a speech she was to give.  There were some tweaks which would have improved the text, and maybe added a laugh to move the speech along at a better pace.  But her confidence level going into the performance of her speech was not so much solid as fluid.  Wisdom dictated that I refrain from too much advice, and instead encourage.  She 'blue-ribboned' in her Toastmasters club, and when she said, "I couldn't have done it without you," wisdom was vindicated.

The path along which wisdom comes our way is winding, hilly, and laden with exposed roots, loose stones, and low hanging branches - all of which requires our attention.  We can navigate the path oblivious to the obstacles, stumbling as we go, but then they will remain obstacles in place for our next jaunt down this particular path.  It is when the obstacles are seen for what they truly are - opportunities - that wisdom becomes a companion, growing within us and enriching the experience of the journey.

If time permits, take a meditative pause in your busy day to reflect on activities, relationships, work, or other life experiences which have been enhanced through your accumulated wisdom.  Then smile.  You are progressing, getting better everyday, and earning the wisdom found in a life well-lived.

Fearlessly,
JD