Push Through

As a college senior and history major at the University of Georgia I was in great need of an easy 'A'. My advisor told me I had one elective remaining. Just one coin of that precious currency. I decided to spend it on Drama 101. Since I had been in a theatre troupe at another college before transferring to UGA I thought how hard could it be? I found out.

Day One: I walked into class and it was like someone let the air of the place. A quick visual survey revealed not a traditional classroom, but a smallish former office with chairs lining the walls on the edges of very old carpeting. There was an immediate bad vibe. It was nothing I felt toward the space or students already in the room. No, clearly I was the object of their dis-affection.

A scan of the students revealed an intentional disregard for fashion; ill-fitting and faded jeans, flip flops, beat up sneakers, t-shirts, sweatshirts, a lack of non-leather jewelry, and minimal make-up (on the females at least). Here I stood wearing my starched khakis, powder-blue broadcloth button down, Sperry Topsiders, and gold wristwatch. Although no one hissed it wouldn’t have been much of a surprise if they had. Apparently Greek life had not yet hit the Drama department.

I knew trouble was surely mine when, to break the ice, for surely it was in desperate need of breaking, the Professor asked us to name our favorite author. Before coming around to me, I heard Ibsen, Hemmingway, Steinbeck, Poe, and Khafka. What, no Seuss?? Anyway, I offered up a man I considered to be quite brilliant actually, J.R.R. Tolkien. My classmates laughed. Yeah, that’s right. They laughed as if Tolkien was some kind of half-wit hack! The ice remained.

My first assignment was a soliloquy from The Rainmaker. Since I had seen the movie, I thought, “No prob.” (really liked Burt Lancaster in that role) The anticipation of standing alone in a room surrounded by people who clearly don’t have your best interests at heart is not unlike going over a cliff on your bike. You’re okay for the moment, but the end is not going to be good.

In the face of emotions compelling me to race to Drop/Add, I showed up to perform. No sooner had I stood to speak than I went blank.  My mouth opened but nothing came out, and the sharks began circling. Ever been to a late night screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show? There’s that scene at the beginning where Brad and Janet are obviously at the wrong party and say, “If only we were among friends.” Cue the audience, “But you’re not.” Same thing.

The Professor was quick to my rescue, and gave me the first word of the scene. That sparked a vague recollection, and I managed a couple of lines. Another hint, a few more lines, and we followed this pattern for the longest seven minutes…ever? It gets my vote. Oh and my audience? Less sympathetic than Brad and Janet’s. More laughter.

But I did it! As horrible and deflating and crushing as the public humiliation was, it was over, and I had stood in there and taken it. That had to count for something right? It did count. It energized me in a way I could not have imagined. From that moment I determined that the scorn of my classmates would never again be directed towards me.

I became one seriously focused, rehearsal maniac. That initial 'F' was followed by better grades and greater comfort in the class. I was the one who changed. I realized my polar opposites were actually not so bad when I gave their chosen passion the effort and respect it deserved. I even did a comedic, one-man improv for my final and made an ‘A’ on it! Sadly it was not enough to score higher than a ‘C’ in the class, but a life-long lesson was in the bank.

Push through folks. Though it seems the gates of Hell are standing before you, and abject humiliation is the certain outcome – it is just a speech. You will survive. Control what you can control, then push through.  You will arrive on the other side stronger, better, wiser.  Push through.

Fearlessly,
JD

Communication Apprehension Reduction Strategies...huh??

When I first saw the term of art, Communication Apprehension Reduction Strategies, my very first reaction was not, “Oh yes, must look into that. Good info.” Nor was my reaction, “Ahh, I myself have suffered from this debilitating malady.” No, my first blush comment to myself was, “Huh?” It was not an intellectual response, just an honest one.

There are many amazing and scholarly white papers, essays, lectures, and articles devoted to the topic of minimizing stage fright. Certainly there are books devoted to the subject. My goodness if you get into a discussion group with access to speakers you may come away with as many different ‘fixes’ as there are contributors!

The cautionary tale of this note has nothing to do with stage fright, however. Instead I wish to pass along a word of encouragement to any who find themselves in front of an audience for one reason or another. The encouragement came to me from my friend, Carlos Greene, who co-authored, The Family Goal Planning Guide and Workbook (www.thegoalplanner.com).

In doing an early review of what would become my first book, Embrace: Meditations from a Word of Truth (available on Amazon and BarnesandNoble.com), Carlos noted that my well researched and thoughtful writing would not appeal to all of Christianity, but instead to a demographic very limited in number. The problem was my choice of words.

In my desire to be as eloquent as possible, I had committed a common mistake.  Carlos rightly suggested the larger audience I sought to reach would understand what I had written, they just might not enjoy reading it. That’s a problem!

Knowing your audience is as important in speaking as it is in writing. When you can express yourself simply, and make your points easily why complicate the message? A sample of the best selling thought leaders (speakers or writers) will reveal a lack of what my Dad would have called ten-dollar words. They make their points convincingly without them.

Unless attending an audience of psychologists in a break-out session on anxiety disorders, one might never come across communication apprehension reduction strategies. But in the world where most of us live, it will not be uncommon at all to discuss stage fright or a fear of public speaking. Make your message simple and easy to adopt. In that simplicity is eloquence we can all appreciate.

Fearlessly,
JD