As a college senior and history major at the University of Georgia I was in great need of an easy 'A'. My advisor told me I had one elective remaining. Just one coin of that precious currency. I decided to spend it on Drama 101. Since I had been in a theatre troupe at another college before transferring to UGA I thought how hard could it be? I found out.
Day One: I walked into class and it was like someone let the air of the place. A quick visual survey revealed not a traditional classroom, but a smallish former office with chairs lining the walls on the edges of very old carpeting. There was an immediate bad vibe. It was nothing I felt toward the space or students already in the room. No, clearly I was the object of their dis-affection.
A scan of the students revealed an intentional disregard for fashion; ill-fitting and faded jeans, flip flops, beat up sneakers, t-shirts, sweatshirts, a lack of non-leather jewelry, and minimal make-up (on the females at least). Here I stood wearing my starched khakis, powder-blue broadcloth button down, Sperry Topsiders, and gold wristwatch. Although no one hissed it wouldn’t have been much of a surprise if they had. Apparently Greek life had not yet hit the Drama department.
I knew trouble was surely mine when, to break the ice, for surely it was in desperate need of breaking, the Professor asked us to name our favorite author. Before coming around to me, I heard Ibsen, Hemmingway, Steinbeck, Poe, and Khafka. What, no Seuss?? Anyway, I offered up a man I considered to be quite brilliant actually, J.R.R. Tolkien. My classmates laughed. Yeah, that’s right. They laughed as if Tolkien was some kind of half-wit hack! The ice remained.
My first assignment was a soliloquy from The Rainmaker. Since I had seen the movie, I thought, “No prob.” (really liked Burt Lancaster in that role) The anticipation of standing alone in a room surrounded by people who clearly don’t have your best interests at heart is not unlike going over a cliff on your bike. You’re okay for the moment, but the end is not going to be good.
In the face of emotions compelling me to race to Drop/Add, I showed up to perform. No sooner had I stood to speak than I went blank. My mouth opened but nothing came out, and the sharks began circling. Ever been to a late night screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show? There’s that scene at the beginning where Brad and Janet are obviously at the wrong party and say, “If only we were among friends.” Cue the audience, “But you’re not.” Same thing.
The Professor was quick to my rescue, and gave me the first word of the scene. That sparked a vague recollection, and I managed a couple of lines. Another hint, a few more lines, and we followed this pattern for the longest seven minutes…ever? It gets my vote. Oh and my audience? Less sympathetic than Brad and Janet’s. More laughter.
But I did it! As horrible and deflating and crushing as the public humiliation was, it was over, and I had stood in there and taken it. That had to count for something right? It did count. It energized me in a way I could not have imagined. From that moment I determined that the scorn of my classmates would never again be directed towards me.
I became one seriously focused, rehearsal maniac. That initial 'F' was followed by better grades and greater comfort in the class. I was the one who changed. I realized my polar opposites were actually not so bad when I gave their chosen passion the effort and respect it deserved. I even did a comedic, one-man improv for my final and made an ‘A’ on it! Sadly it was not enough to score higher than a ‘C’ in the class, but a life-long lesson was in the bank.
Push through folks. Though it seems the gates of Hell are standing before you, and abject humiliation is the certain outcome – it is just a speech. You will survive. Control what you can control, then push through. You will arrive on the other side stronger, better, wiser. Push through.
Fearlessly,
JD
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