Shared Experience

Recently, I received a landmark in my career as an author when the local chapter of a national book club named my latest book (Be Known for Your D.E.E.D.S.) as their selection of the month!  A HUGE honor!  To make the honor even more impactful I was invited to speak at their next meeting.  The great feeling just kept getting better!

Upon arriving at the venue (a restaurant) it rapidly became apparent the ambient noise level was going to be very high outside the reserved private room, and presenting a 30-minute program would be quite a challenge.  At this point in the story it would be easy to go on about the noise and the resulting difficulties, but let's change lanes and look at this from the perspective of the audience.

Too often, we, as speakers, tell of the drama we encounter when a venue, the material, or the audience are not set up perfectly for our style or message.  And those tales can be instructive, but rarely do we read (or hear) about the equally difficult challenge faced by the audience.  In this case, they were welcoming a speaker into a noisy space which necessitated they adjust their own ease and comfort to get the most out of the program.

My wife, Denise, had traveled with me and she commiserated with the club's members.  In so doing, she became a bridge to their view, and helped me to have a more balanced takeaway of what had just transpired.  Having this knowledge has me re-thinking experiential encounters.  Too often we only consider one perspective...our own.  Far fewer times do we even acknowledge that a speaking engagement, a graduation ceremony, a school play, a book signing, or other analogous gatherings have two sets of participants; those on stage and those in the audience.

In a very real sense both are dealing with the same experience.  For my moment in the sun as an author relishing the moment of recognition it was a noisy venue with wait-staff interruptions.  For the local members of the book club, guess what?  It was a noisy venue with wait-staff interruptions!  We both were immersed in an environment not in the least conducive to the planned program.

How often is it the case with so much else in life? The atmosphere of the restaurant is all wrong, there's no shade at the tennis match, the flight was delayed for mechanical reasons, etc.  We must try to get outside our own selves and attempt the viewpoint of others.  When we do we will draw closer to that place of understanding; that place of walking in the shoes of our brother or sister.  What could have been a disaster became a common bonding experience because each party realized we were united in the experience.  As a result, it was an unqualified success and both parties gained a fresh perspective about each other, and on the shared experience.

Fearlessly,
JD